Today I hate Celiac Disease

Happy Friday Everyone!! I hope the day starts off well for everyone. Today I am having a good day. Well I'm forcing myself to have a GREAT day if I can. I have actually had a very rough time since we moved. If I was honest with everyone...since my son got diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes and then CELIAC DISEASE....life is very challenging for me. Actually let's dig a bit deeper. It's not diabetes...or even the capitalized CELIAC DISEASE that has me so overwhelmed. It's the life God has mapped out for me that has been so challenging. Yeah, I've been trying to square things away with God even...you know when YOU (GOD)  hand a person a life like this and say figure it out...well we basically fail. And for all of the people reading this...WE fail so we can grow but man...it's just a horrible feeling. And you see how I capitalized CELIAC DISEASE? Well I'm mad at that disease right now. So I'm taking my frustrations out on it. So imagine a person yelling at something they can't change. Well I can't so I will just act like I'm yelling at the diseae by capitalizing it. And you know what it is? I'm just so sick of making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich lately. Is that not the most absurd thing you have ever heard? I don't even eat peanut butter and jelly...and maybe it's not even the PB&J. I think it's the dumb bread. Well, it's all of it. I have to always think so hard to feed my son. And I have to be careful about it. You know like use a seperate toaster. Seperate butters and I never really have time to just HATE the diseases my son has. And I think what burdens me even more is how my son must feel. Can you imagine having to pack your lunch everyday? Not that packing is an issue at all...but he MUST pack. NO choices. And then what other choices we do have...I have to collaborate with the cafeteria so they can feed him correctly. And I know and can only imagine what a baby I must sound like...and you know what...I'm going to just hate the disease right now. I think that is the healthiest thing for me instead of putting on this brave face and acting like I just can conquer the world...well folks I'm just tired of peanut butter and jelly and gluten free bread. But the bible says in Ephesians 4:26 - Be angry and do not sin. There's more but you know to remember just that simple part of it. To be angry and not sin? HAHA...ok. Well, I try and I've tried and I'm going to continue to try. But right now...I'm going to admit I'm angry. In the movie Pretty Woman my favorite part of the movie is when Richard Gere says he paid  $10,000 in therapy just to be able to say "I am angry with my father." I love it because so many things in life can be started with that sentence. I am angry with Celiac Disease. There...I said it. Now lets try not to sin in my anger. Pray for me people.
But you know CELIAC DISEASE...see, there it is. My anger at the disease...well that isn't the life God handed me. That was the preparation. And you know God...let me talk to God for a minute here...You know God, that was alot of preparation don't ya think? Yes, HE does think. He KNEW...he was preparing me for something with much more depth. I'm not sure how this disease fits into it just yet...well, sometimes I think I do, and then other times I wonder..but I will at some point I'm sure. God tell us in Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you. God does have a plan for all of us. For me and my family our plan was that our preparation was for our son to be diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes..and you know I'll stop right there because many people are so confused about how God made my son sick. No God didn't MAKE my son sick. Our evil world and all the things that go wrong in our world..caused my son's body to get ill. The lack of perfection..the lack of a perfect life is what got my son sick. We ruined perfection people!! Well my fellow sister EVE ruined it for us all. And her silly husband Adam...like why do you men listen to us all the time? Really? Don't you know us women do really dumb things all the time. God made WOman from MAN and the part you all need to really hear is the WO part. That wo is just a shortened version of WHOA. Like as in WHOA stop us!! So it's a sinful world and we started that sinful process.  But anyway...another conversation perhaps...my son got sick with a chronic illness and God did one thing. HE allowed it to happen. I wasn't being punished...see another thing many people sadly believe is we get punished but you know everything is for God's glory. God prepares us in our life experiences...and then he has a plan to use those experiences so you can bring Glory to HIM. It took a bit for me to figure that out...alot of us are just simply convicted by the Holy Spirit and we label it as emotions when really it's like subtle promptings of the spirit moving and guiding us in HIS direction. But hindsight showed me my life and GOD told me...he is the almighty whisperer you know... HE showed me that I needed to use this experience for something greater than what it was. I began to "refuse to believe" and ah I love that statment when used correctly. I REFUSED TO BELIEVE that God would allow a small child to suffer and experience something awful for no apparent reason so I began to ask WHY? What do I do with this? So I was prompted to take in other children through foster care and even ADOPT. You know I used to be a person who said I would never adopt. I couldn't fathom that idea. I wasn't emotionally equipped for that. Yet here I am..with two adopted children and a foster baby in my home and well, that's why I'm tired. God never said I wouldn't be worn and weary. God knows I am worn and weary. But he also rejuvenates me to make this all happen. I have no idea what HIS plan is even in all this. I just know I have to do it. So when I said at the beginning I've struggled since we've moved. This life God has given me...well, it just has me worn out. But I'm confident! In Isaiah 40:29 it reads - He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. I'm still here today everyone...because he constantly restores me. But today I hate CELIAC DISEASE.